I tend to ramble on and on about gender in the most general sense of the word, and sometimes I think about others' gender for great lengths of time. But now I think I should discuss my own, just to make things fair. And not only do I think that I should--I know that it's a good and right thing that I do it.
My gender has been a topic weighing heavily on my thoughts for years. It's been really difficult for me to deal with because my family hasn't really been there for me as much as I would have appreciated them to be. I suppose I can't really talk so badly about them, though--they're still trying. It's just hard to be a Trans. kid. As difficult as it was when all I worried about was my sexuality, it's probably about 100 times harder now that my gender has come into the equation. Not everything's bad, though. I've made a bunch of great friends since I began to identify as Transgender, and my outlook on life has become much better. My outlook has become even clearer recently, because I've finally come to realize that I don't have to fit myself into a subcategory within the Transgender identity. I can identify simply as Transgender and let that be enough. Because it is.
And it's not necessary for me to take testosterone or undergo surgeries to identify as Trans., either. I can identify this way just because of my clothing or the way I choose to act. Someday, I think that hormones are something I might want to do. And I'm also considering top surgery (for Female-to-Male (FTM) Trans. people, this means getting the chest reshaped to appear more male by way of a mastectomy). But again, if I do this at all, it's not going to be for a long while. Hormones and surgery are two things I'm definitely not prepared to deal with right now, both financially and emotionally and, according to my doctor and my older Trans. friends, even physically. Plus, I've got too much that I want to do as a pre-op., pre-hormone Transman for the Transgender community.
I think that my activism is going to evolve as the I progress in the stages of my transition, and that excites me. What excites me just as much, if not more, however, is that there is so much opportunity for me to do activism! For instance, this Friday I'm going to speak after a film specifically about Trans. youth. And in March, I'm leading a workshop at the annual True Colors Conference. As a workshop leader at the 2007 Conference, I'll be joining ranks with the SPECTACULAR Peterson Toscano (*wink* Hi, Peterson!) and the talented crew of the Athens, Georgia-based Classic City Kings, as well as lots of other presenters. I'm also involved with my school's Gay-Straight Alliance, though we've recently run into some trouble with the administration which has forced us to take action against them (Apparently, the administration wasn't/isn't "prepared to recognize" the Gay-Straight Alliance as what it really is, which is a bunch of bullshit because they knew full well all along what it is, but is also something to be discussed in more length later). It seems the administration didn't want to cause controversy amongst the students and staff of my school, but how can you possibly avoid controversy in a rural area of the first state to allow same-sex marriage (Massachusetts, of course) where more than half of the student population is Republican and the other percentage of students is Democrat but only a handful of the Democratic students are in continuous, vocally (and, in my case, physically)-expressed support of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender community?! (I'm aware that I just completely ignored my own disclaimer about the GSA thing being discussed later, but it's really important!)
...Anyway. I think that's enough of an introduction for now. Sorry it took so long. I was still trying to figure the whole gender thing out, you know?
p.s. I give you...LINKS!!!:
My gender has been a topic weighing heavily on my thoughts for years. It's been really difficult for me to deal with because my family hasn't really been there for me as much as I would have appreciated them to be. I suppose I can't really talk so badly about them, though--they're still trying. It's just hard to be a Trans. kid. As difficult as it was when all I worried about was my sexuality, it's probably about 100 times harder now that my gender has come into the equation. Not everything's bad, though. I've made a bunch of great friends since I began to identify as Transgender, and my outlook on life has become much better. My outlook has become even clearer recently, because I've finally come to realize that I don't have to fit myself into a subcategory within the Transgender identity. I can identify simply as Transgender and let that be enough. Because it is.
And it's not necessary for me to take testosterone or undergo surgeries to identify as Trans., either. I can identify this way just because of my clothing or the way I choose to act. Someday, I think that hormones are something I might want to do. And I'm also considering top surgery (for Female-to-Male (FTM) Trans. people, this means getting the chest reshaped to appear more male by way of a mastectomy). But again, if I do this at all, it's not going to be for a long while. Hormones and surgery are two things I'm definitely not prepared to deal with right now, both financially and emotionally and, according to my doctor and my older Trans. friends, even physically. Plus, I've got too much that I want to do as a pre-op., pre-hormone Transman for the Transgender community.
I think that my activism is going to evolve as the I progress in the stages of my transition, and that excites me. What excites me just as much, if not more, however, is that there is so much opportunity for me to do activism! For instance, this Friday I'm going to speak after a film specifically about Trans. youth. And in March, I'm leading a workshop at the annual True Colors Conference. As a workshop leader at the 2007 Conference, I'll be joining ranks with the SPECTACULAR Peterson Toscano (*wink* Hi, Peterson!) and the talented crew of the Athens, Georgia-based Classic City Kings, as well as lots of other presenters. I'm also involved with my school's Gay-Straight Alliance, though we've recently run into some trouble with the administration which has forced us to take action against them (Apparently, the administration wasn't/isn't "prepared to recognize" the Gay-Straight Alliance as what it really is, which is a bunch of bullshit because they knew full well all along what it is, but is also something to be discussed in more length later). It seems the administration didn't want to cause controversy amongst the students and staff of my school, but how can you possibly avoid controversy in a rural area of the first state to allow same-sex marriage (Massachusetts, of course) where more than half of the student population is Republican and the other percentage of students is Democrat but only a handful of the Democratic students are in continuous, vocally (and, in my case, physically)-expressed support of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender community?! (I'm aware that I just completely ignored my own disclaimer about the GSA thing being discussed later, but it's really important!)
...Anyway. I think that's enough of an introduction for now. Sorry it took so long. I was still trying to figure the whole gender thing out, you know?
p.s. I give you...LINKS!!!:
- True Colors Conference http://www.ourtruecolors.org/cfs/cfs13/
- Classic City Kings http://www.classiccitykings.com
1 comment:
Great post! I think it is very good not to rush into surgery or hormonal treatment. Time tend to give some answers so don''t get to frighten with the complexity of the questions gender and sexuality brings.
Ohh well, who am I kidding, you don't get that many answers, just new questions but after a while I found some solace in the middle of all questions and i trust that I need no answers.
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