"Panny tranny"

Not only have I been thinking a lot about my gender lately; I've also been thinking about my sexuality. On Friday my dad had to get his Jeep oil-undercoated, so we went to this mechanic who does those sorts of things. My dad told me it was going to take about a half-hour so maybe we should go on a walk. So we did.

About 2 minutes after we'd started walking I began a conversation with him about where I was in terms of my gender and my sexuality. He was already pretty aware of how I was deciding to present my gender (he sees me almost every day, because he works at my school), but he was still convinced that I was identifying as a lesbian. Until recently, I would have agreed with him. But, I guess I've kind of been fooling myself. Not maliciously, of course, but I think I've been sticking to dating (or at least being attracted to) the opposite gender because I'm trying to uphold the standards I'd set for myself.

But now, just to set the record straight (haha!!!) for myself and for others: I AM PANSEXUAL! I have decided to not prevent myself from finding love with a person who shares my gender (though I have discovered that I'm much more attracted to other Transmen than to bio. men), and I feel really happy and...free. It feels like when I started my journey as an out Transgender person, only 10 times better.

I'm so glad I finally figured this out! I feel so much more secure!