...and it's not all of the sexual sort (if it was, that would make this whole situation a lot easier to handle). I think I've got a crush on someone that I know I shouldn't have one on. But he's so sweet to me. But he's years and years older than me. But age doesn't matter to me, especially now that I'm almost a legal adult. But it would matter to everyone else. But I don't worry about what others think now--I'm just myself, and I care about who I care about, and I listen to my heart about it all. And right now my heart's conflicted, because I don't know if I care about him more as a friend or as something else.
I guess I really shouldn't worry at all, because he hasn't said anything about there being any other definition to the term "us" for us than the platonic one we've already got, and I'm not going to say anything, and until he says something, I'm not saying anything. So I guess we might not get anywhere for a while. But I don't want to get anywhere right now. I just need good friends. And that's exactly what he is--a good friend.
So, I don't really know why I wrote this, but it felt good to vent. To whomever happened to read this and/or comment, thanks.
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2 comments:
I think you are doing the right thing by awating and enyoy the friendship. The best relationships are built on solid friendships and good friends are always welcome even if they "just" stay as that.
Age is a tricky thing. So many think that older persons by default is in a power positon. I think that shows a very narrow way of thinking. I think that relationships are so complex and has many sides and that the matter of who are in a power position can be impossible to decide. A older person can have much more life expirience but some times it can be an advange to be young and don't be as stuck in old habits and old tracks.
Over to something else, what is the age when you become a legal adult in the us? And what does it mean, what becomes legal at that age?
Over here the first step is 15 when you get legal and sexual responsibility and some work is allowed. At 18 one is almost fully adult and can vote, get a drivers license, take responsibility over ones money, drink alcohol, buy cigarettes and have any kind of work. Then at 20 the final age limit is reached and that only includes allowing one to buy alcohol at our government monopoly Systembolaget.
Thank you for all of that, Alex. The age that one becomes "legal" in the United States is 18. That's when we have to start paying taxes and I believe that's when we can buy cigarettes. At 16 it is legal for someone to begin working, and that is also the age when we can apply for our driver's permit and then our driver's license at 16 and a half. At age 21 we can legally purchase alcohol.
I really like the relationship I have with this person right now, as well, just as a close friendship. But I keep getting lost in the fantasy that he and I could be together. On the other hand, he's one of my older Trans brothers, and it would feel quite awkward to me to be dating somebody that I feel so strongly about in a brotherly way. So maybe the best thing for us is just to be friends. I think so.
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